The Importance of the Thank You Note

Do thank you notes really matter in this day of instant messaging, texts and emails? Is a quick text with a thumbs up, 👍🏼 or “TY” rather than a hand written note, a sufficient way to respond to a gift, a dinner party or a job interview? There was a time when a hand written thank you note reflected greatly on the sender, as one who exhibits good manners, upbringing, consideration and thoughtfulness. It was an expected gesture and those who didn’t follow this social expectation were thought of as rude, selfish and probably excluded from future gatherings.

When I was a project manager, I was responsible for supervising staff and I often interviewed potential employees for open positions in our unit. I probably conducted several dozen interviews during my time in that position. Only twice did I receive a thank you note after the interview from potential employees. I hired them both. There were equally qualified applicants in the running, but the thank you note displayed a level of consideration and conscientious that the other candidates didn’t make.

Original art by theTravelsketcher.

Shirley Riley, The Paris Correspondent has this to share about thank you notes:

I am sometimes embarrassed to admit that I am a person who absolutely loves receiving gifts; loves hearing the back story of how a gift was chosen and loves showing appreciation for the kindness of the gift giver. I learned a long, long time ago that receiving a gift does not – or at least should not – end at The Opening. Rather, that is the beginning of a cycle of appreciation and gratitude that makes the gift giving worth the thought and effort.

My earliest memory of learning the importance of writing thank you notes is when I was a five year old. (I won’t mention how long ago that was). We were stationed in Germany as my dad was in the military. Gifts or cards had a long journey before reaching us. Christmas morning was a big deal at our home and present opening quite the lengthy process of joy, fun and laughter. I recall that year I received a beautiful German pram for my dolls – and probably planned to play with it all afternoon. My mother had other ideas.

After lunch she sat my older sister and I down at a table stacked with paper, crayons and pencils and had us write a note or draw a picture to express our thanks too anyone who sent a gift. She said it would make people so happy to know we liked our presents. No playing until that was accomplished. My older sister had gorgeous penmanship (not a word we often hear these days) so would write her thanks in script. I drew pictures to show how much I loved whatever was sent (although as I grew older, I ultimately wrote my thank you notes). This dance was repeated every holiday and birthday until it became a a habit.

We would often hear from Grandma or Aunt Val or whomever, how much they appreciated our notes or drawings. That meant a lot. Receiving a gift, then acknowledging a gift, and then hearing how much that gratitude meant is like a cycle of happiness. Writing thank you notes became a routine for the rest of my life. Thanks, Mom!

Thank you, Shirley, for sharing your thoughts.

Like Shirley, my mom made sure I, and my siblings, wrote thank you notes for gifts, special outings or thoughtful gestures. And, like Shirley, it became a life long habit.

I love the hand-drawn one from my nephew.

Most of our friends also send thank you notes, but I don’t think it’s a generational thing. Over the years, we have received thank you notes from our daughter’s friends for various activities and outings we treated them to.

There are two types of stores we cannot resist when we travel; bookshops and stationary shops. There are several small, locally operated stationary stores in our neighborhood; Oblation is a favorite of ours.

They carry a wide variety of cards, stationary, pens, ink, wax seals and more to enhance your letter writing experience.

Another is Ecru, also with a wide variety of cards, stationary and local items.

Handwritten notes display a specific warmth and personal connection that isn’t conveyed through a computer screen or text message. So visit your local stationer, stock up on cards and stationary, and send someone a little love today; it’s never too late to say thank you!

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others. Marcus Tullius Cicero

Thank you for reading and your continued support! 😊

Tricia

40 thoughts on “The Importance of the Thank You Note

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  1. An interesting and thoughtful post,Tricia. I haven’t received a handwritten thank you card in years and years. I did lots of hiring and never received a thank you card from anyone via that route, either. I was surprised to read that you had. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a lovely post Tricia. I love thank you notes and I try to make a point to send them. I think they are all the more special because they are a lost art in the sea of digital messages and emojis. But nothing brings warmth to the soul like a hand written card

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you notes sometimes still do arrive . . . I must admit I tend not to ‘forget’ the sender afterwards and seem to have an eye out for his or hers comments wherever. And – I am ‘addicted’ to book and stationary shops also . . . so, thanks for all the photos . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My mother used to write a list of who gave us what and make us sit down on Boxing Day to write thank you letters when I was a child. I confess to sending emails and messages these days but maybe a nice thank you card now and again would be a really nice idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. And thank YOU, Tricia, for the opportunity to share my thoughts about thank you notes–and for the opportunity to be your Paris Correspondent (lucky me!) I am still waiting for a thank you note for a wedding gift given 7 years ago. The young lady now has two children…sigh. Remember the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song from the 70’s–‘Teach your children well’? Parents–teach your kiddos how to show gratitude with a thank you note. It will serve them well!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This post has me nodding my head in agreement whilst drooling over those wonderful stationery shops … I could get lost in there! I too learned to write thank you cards or letters from an early age. In fact, I would still far rather write a longhand letter (on lovely paper!) than use e-mail. Sadly, my favourite form of communication came to an end once the South African postal service became so dysfunctional that hardly anyone uses it anymore. This is a crying shame for all sorts of reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I always love to hear from family and friends, no matter the format. However, there is nothing better than receiving a handwritten note, card or letter. I remember encouraging (forcing!) my sons to write thank-you letters back in the day. As for stationery 💕😍💕 I loved this post and the beautiful illustration.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have a pretty box full of ‘thank you’ stickers and cards that I often hand out to friends. I think it’s one of the best ways to let people know how much you appreciate a gift/visit/etc. And I totally agree with you about bookstores and stationery shops – I do not walk past them (or empty handed out) 😁.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m a big fan of writing thank you notes and showing appreciation. It’s something I hope to pass along to my little one. We started making our own Christmas cards this past year and it was really sweet to watch my daughter pass them around to everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Every year on the first day after Christmas break I have all my students write thank you notes on one of two pre-made paper templates. They can choose from “Thank you for the gift” or “Thank you for being so nice.” I always start the lesson telling them how I felt when my niece/goddaughter suddenly stopped sending me thank you notes for her birthday and Christmas gifts once she reached “that age” (around 12 or 13, I think). It’s very important to show and express gratitude and I try to pass that on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well done, Travel Architect! Teach them when they’re young. Sometimes it takes; sometimes, sadly, not so much. I share your disappointment with a young relative and the forgotten thank you note; it’s happened too often. Heavy sigh. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When gently talking to her about it didn’t change her behavior, I did something rather controversial. I sent her a box of blank notecards for her next birthday gift. I think I shocked (and perhaps angered) a few relatives (shocked my mom and angered HER mom, who is now my ex-sister-in-law). It was a bold move, I know, and not something I would normally think of myself doing, but dammit, I was annoyed. Plus, I was her godmother. It was my duty to set her straight! If she was upset by it, she never let on, but guess what: thank you notes started coming again. By the way, this was a long time ago. She’s almost 30 now.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. This is such a wonderful post. A handwritten expression of gratitude has never been more important. It can even be a gift itself. I am still a big fan of writing and sending thank-you notes and cards, and so are both of my girls. I keep a big box full of cards and cute notes and little stickers and ribbons and everything else needed to make them as pretty as we can. Whenever we travel, we always stop by stationery shops to stock up on supplies. I find that while digital communication is instant, a handwritten note is more personal, thoughtful, and so much more memorable. Thanks for sharing, and have a good day 🙂 Aiva xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How wonderful, Aiva, with your box of stationary supplies for your girls. Making the task a fun and creative process is half the fun! You’re spot on that a handwritten note is so much more important. Thanks again, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

      Liked by 1 person

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